Wednesday 17th June 2020 – Writing Task.

Good morning Year 4.

Use your plans from yesterday or if you haven’t look back at yesterday’s planning blog to help you today.

You are going to write a diary about your time on the island, below are the features of what we would like to see in your diary:

  • start with Dear diary and date
  • write in three paragraphs to show arriving, during, and leaving the islands
  • use fronted adverbials with comma to show the order of your diary
  • write in past tense
  • first person
  • expanded nouns – be descriptive
  • emotions and feelings  – not happy and sad
  • try using ? ! , ‘ (  ) in your writing.
  • think how you would end your diary.

We look forward to reading your diaries.

The Year 4 Team

21 thoughts on “Wednesday 17th June 2020 – Writing Task.

  • 17th June 2020 at 10:15 am
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    17/6/2020
    Dear Diary,

    In the evening I woke up, and I saw a Island. Nobody was there, so I got up and started heading towards the Island. To get to this Island, I traveled on a boat. When I got there, I saw palm trees; so I decided to go look around. The was quite a few animals around, so there was enough to eat for my dinner.

    At dinner time, I ate roasted chicken which was delicious and for dessert i had coconut and my drink was coconut water. After dinner, i decided to roam around to find things to eat for the next day.

    When the next day came, i ate left over roast dinner from yesterday. I had to warm up the chicken, over the fire i had made myself. I drank coconut milk. As i am a pirate, i looked for treasure. When starting to dig, instead of finding treasure there was a underground tunnel. I decided to walk down the tunnel, to my eyes i saw golden treasure and food.

    Reply
  • 17th June 2020 at 10:18 am
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    17/6/2020
    Dear Diary,

    In the evening I woke up, and I saw a Island. Nobody was there, so I got up and started heading towards the Island. To get to this Island, I traveled on a boat. When I got there, I saw palm trees; so I decided to go look around. The was quite a few animals around, so there was enough to eat for my dinner.

    At dinner time, I ate roasted chicken it was delicious and for dessert i had coconut and my drink was coconut water. After dinner, i decided to roam around to find things to eat for the next day.

    When the next day came, i ate left over roast dinner from yesterday. I had to warm up the chicken, over the fire i had made myself. I drank coconut milk. As i am a pirate, i looked for treasure. When starting to dig, instead of finding treasure there was a underground tunnel. I decided to walk down the tunnel, to my eyes i saw golden treasure and food.

    Reply
    • 17th June 2020 at 10:58 am
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      Fantastic diary entry Brooke, great use of fronted adverbials and paragraphs.

      Reply
  • 17th June 2020 at 10:28 am
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    Dear diary
    1975,May 11th
    How it all started I was on a plane as a worker and then suddenly the tail and wings fell of which made us crash.I was the last person standing,i got into the water where i swam my way to a little island to the east and i began my journey from the west.”I have no food apart from these bugs and coconuts” I said to myself i must explore this Island.

    Dear diary
    1975,June 11th
    It’s been a month since i came to the island now and I have started to get bored so I gathered wood and other materials to build a boat,but when i was gathering wood I noticed a camp I thought I was the only person on this Island…
    It turns out I was wrong so I crept up knowing that someone could creep up on me and suddenly someone did…However he was mean at first but then he was nice and also let me stay at his little camp he told me stories of how he got here he also taught me how to make a campfire.

    Dear diary
    1975,June 21st
    I discovered more stuff to build the boat however I needed to swim to different islands, the man helped me build the rest of the boat but he won’t come he wants to stay there.
    This is how it went.

    Reply
    • 17th June 2020 at 6:20 pm
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      Excellent diary Kiran! Extremely well organised!

      Reply
  • 17th June 2020 at 10:43 am
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    Dear Diary April 2, 2021
    Arriving on the island

    I was going swimming with my friends, then suddenly a GIGANTIC! wave got me and I landed on this island stranded from the outside world!
    I smelt fresh, sea water and heard the parrots and other birds singing beautifully. I stepped on soft sand.( It was bright and fresh)
    I felt scared and brave at the same time. I knew I had to do something to survive. I was a bit anxious.
    Dear Dairy April 3,2021
    During the time on the island.

    I found coconuts, which I really don’t like, but I had to drink so coconut water was it.
    I caught some salmon and one catfish! plus I was really good at fishing, even with my hands. I also knew how to start the fire from rocks, sand and wood. I built a shelter from the large branches. I explored the island to check if it’s safe and found some tasty berries to eat. There were some friendly animals plus a stranded dog!, which was happy to see me, he had only one leg. I called him Bernard. There were super chatty parrots too.
    On the island I mainly missed my parents and my pet.
    I discovered edible berried, the tastiest berries I’ve ever tried.
    Dear Dairy 4,2021
    Leaving the island.

    People back home were searching for me and one of my friends sent a helicopter for me. I felt amazed, as I haven’t been in a helicopter before. I was brave to get in and sad to leave the island behind. I took Bernard the dog with me and gave him a robot legs, so he could walk and run happily

    Reply
    • 17th June 2020 at 6:19 pm
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      A great diary entry Alex! Love that you have three separate diary entries and action packed. Please remember comma for fronted adverbials!

      Reply
  • 17th June 2020 at 11:50 am
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    Arriving on the Island
    17/6/2020

    Dear Diary,

    I was fishing, soon I felt something then I checked but it was some plastic. So why people throw rubbish in the sea? I thought but I felt that I was entering the shadows of the darkness. Then I soon looked and it was…a giant piece of wood! It almost crushed me but luckily, I jumped of but my boat was crushed. I felt the breeze and looked where it headed on then a desert island. I’m saved! I checked and I could see the hot sand. I smelt flowers, I saw trees, I heard the wind whistling and felt the burning sand. The heated sand was like 400C. I thought of living on this island, I felt that I am living on this island.

    During the time on the island.
    18/6/2020

    Dear Diary,

    I started to pick some leaves and sticks then I built a house. I made friends with dolphins and they helped me to find my food which included fish, crabs and lobsters. I done my best and made a plan how to do it. I saw sharks. They look were angry (I think they were hungry…)
    I then made a wooden axe to cut some trees. I crushed the leaves to make paint for my house. The hungry sharks looked for the dolphins so I made a special pond for them so the sharks don’t eat them. The magnificent flowers got weakened by the prickly bush as the strong grass was hard for the small ant to eat. The dolphins were bored so I decided to surf on them. I was exited and brave. I missed my family.

    Leaving the island
    19/6/2020

    Dear Diary,

    As I was surfing, I knew I could make a boat but I didn’t have enough supplies left. Then I thought that the dolphins could take me home so they said yes! I then went and looked that I found the city. I was happy, excited and joyful so found my parents but they said that they thought I was home and I didn’t know that either because they were out shopping for three days. I learnt that-
    • You should have a plan
    • Make more important stuff.
    • Reach to the point to be rescued.

    Reply
    • 17th June 2020 at 6:18 pm
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      Wow! What an amazing diary packed with all the features we were looking for and more Hargun! It is great to see three separate diary entries

      Reply
  • 17th June 2020 at 11:54 am
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    Dear Diary April 2, 2021
    Arriving on the island

    I was going swimming with my friends, then suddenly a GIGANTIC! wave got me and I landed on this island stranded from the outside world!
    I smelt fresh, sea water and heard the parrots and other birds singing beautifully. I stepped on soft sand.( It was bright and fresh)
    I felt scared and brave at the same time. I knew I had to do something to survive. I was a bit anxious.
    Dear Dairy April 3,2021
    During the time on the island.

    I found coconuts, which I really don’t like, but I had to drink so coconut water was it.
    I caught some salmon and one catfish! plus I was really good at fishing, even with my hands. I also knew how to start the fire from rocks, sand and wood. I built a shelter from the large branches. I explored the island to check if it’s safe and found some tasty berries to eat. There were some friendly animals plus a stranded dog!, which was happy to see me, he had only one leg. I called him Bernard. There were super chatty parrots too.
    On the island I mainly missed my parents and my pet.
    I discovered edible berried, the tastiest berries I’ve ever tried.
    Dear Dairy 4,2021
    Leaving the island.

    People back home were searching for me and one of my friends sent a helicopter for me. I felt amazed, as I haven’t been in a helicopter before. I was brave to get in and sad to leave the island behind. I took Bernard the dog with me and gave him a robot legs, so he could walk and run happily

    Reply
  • 17th June 2020 at 12:46 pm
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    17/6/2020
    Dear diary

    I was on a plane when it suddenly crashed 2 hrs later I woke up on this island. At first I saw animals then palm and coconut trees then I saw potatoes finally i saw tons of seeds to make a farm so i knew I would survive longer. So for dinner i had potatoes and chicken all roasted in the fire using the fire i killed the bacteria in the ocean water and drank it.

    After 9 months i had already built a house and harvested my farm and pretty full. It was not long before i found a cave and started mining minerals for repairing my tools but deep in the cave i found electronics I knew this was an opportunity to escape after 3 weeks of construction when it was tested i tried it and it broke in midair so i swam over the ocean back to the island so i gave up .

    Soon a helicopter found me and i was saved. I felt overreacted but a bit sad as i was leaving my island but i’m going home on my island adventure i learnt how to build,craft and survive.

    Reply
    • 17th June 2020 at 6:16 pm
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      A fantastic diary entry Owen . Lots of action and great use of conjunctions. Please remember commas for fronted adverbials!

      Reply
  • 17th June 2020 at 12:53 pm
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    26/11/1996
    Dear Diary
    Last night I was locked in my cabin to sleep in my private yacht. I heard some screaming. I began to feel worried. I woke up. I saw there was the captin’s brother that murdered him. I always I had a pistol with 30 spare ammunition. It was loaded with 6. I went straight out and pointed it at him. He was sitting on the edge of the yacht wall. “Can’t get me now!!!” He shouted on top of waves. He leaned back and fell. I had nothing to do except call the crew members there was only one man left. I shouted and shouted. Looked and looked. I noticed they died too. As soon as I noticed that they are dead I came to the steering wheel but as I grabbed it I saw the end of my life and this ship. Iceberg…

    The next month I noticed I was in the middle of NO-WHERE I was not tirsty nor hungry as I was fed. I fainted… Next I woke and saw an island in the distance with my friend that survived the crash. I saw him a mile away from me. I SCREAMED to him “COME!!!!!” I barley heard his reply bt it sounded like “OK!!!” He got to me and I mentioned the island and I remember not much but I do remember saying to go to it.

    That is how we get to today’s day which I think is monday. We learnt about survival ages ago.
    I remember nothing from that but Marcin does. Straight away we found spare food (killed animals) and hid it. Secondly we built tools. Next I built a shelter and Marcin found ores. The last thing we did was to make my friend make weapons and I made protection from wild animals. We where astonished to see that we are here, frightened, and depressed.

    After a week and 2 days we were rescued by a rescue helicopter. There was one space… I let Marcin go. A day after I was rescued by my wife and Marcin. He came back. They knew I would try to swim so they looked in the middle no-where where I fainted and picked me up in my yacht (I was a millionare so I had a couple more). I was home in my mansion and I poped champane, made dinner, supper and I finally went to sleep in my 4-poster bed.

    Reply
    • 17th June 2020 at 6:15 pm
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      Great use of punctuation and paragraphs in your diary. An excellent entry Franek. Please remember comma for fronted adverbials.

      Reply
  • 17th June 2020 at 12:58 pm
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    17/6/2020
    Dear diary,

    In the morning, I woke up and in the distance I could just make out an island so I went to the island in a little boat. I also went with my dog and brother. When we were nearly there I saw palm trees, sand and grass.

    When we were there I built a shelter for us to stay in. Then I roasted a chicken over a little fire for me my brother and the dog Benji for dinner. The next day we had left over chicken and played in the water and then the sand. Also I had a spade so I can do some digging and then I let my brother down so he can watch me dig, meanwhile the dog Benji was asleep.

    Then bang I had hit a trap door so I opened it to see fresh water, food and gold, silver and diamonds! I got it and then sssssss the tunnel was falling down because the dog was standing on the roof of the tunnel so I picked up my brother and ran out to the top of the tunnel. Then it was time to go back home and we got in the boat and went home.

    Reply
    • 17th June 2020 at 6:14 pm
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      Fantastic diary Max. Great use of paragraphs. Remember a comma for your fronted adverbials!

      Reply
  • 17th June 2020 at 3:54 pm
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    Dear diary

    I was on a plane when it suddenly crashed 2 hrs later I woke up on this island. At first I saw animals then palm and coconut trees then I saw potatoes finally i saw tons of seeds to make a farm so i knew I would survive longer. So for dinner i had potatoes and chicken all roasted in the fire using the fire i killed the bacteria in the ocean water and drank it.

    After 9 months i had already built a house and harvested my farm and pretty full. It was not long before i found a cave and started mining minerals for repairing my tools but deep in the cave i found electronics I knew this was an opportunity to escape after 3 weeks of construction when it was tested i tried it and it broke in midair so i swam over the ocean back to the island so i gave up .

    Soon a helicopter found me and i was saved. I felt overreacted but a bit sad as i was leaving my island but i’m going home on my island adventure i learnt how to build,craft and survive.

    Reply
  • 17th June 2020 at 5:12 pm
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    17/06/2020 Dear Diary, In the evening I woke up, getting ready to find treasure. When I was on the boat it was swaying. Suddenly, there was lighting when it was morning I was in an island. I walked for a bit and I saw palm trees. I could hear the wind swaying. I could smell the coconuts in the palm tree. There were some animals that I could eat. During When it was dinner time I caught fishes and made a fire to cook the fish. I drank coconut water. I caught more fishes to eat for tomorrow and get more coconut to drink. Leaving the island When it was the next day I cooked the fish that I caught yesterday to eat. Then I walked around the island and then I was digging. When I continued digging there was something hard. I took it out when I opened it there was gold, jewellery and diamonds. I was happy. Then I fixed my boat and went home.

    Reply
    • 17th June 2020 at 6:13 pm
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      Great diary. Remember comma for fronted adverbials Regina.

      Reply
  • 17th June 2020 at 6:17 pm
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    Today I woke up very scared because i’m going to a deserted island all by my self. A few hours later, I have finally reached at this deserted island I didn’t see anybody but palm trees and coconut trees and a few animals which was enough to cook my delicious meal.

    As I was eating, I had delicious barbecue cooked chicken with some coconut water and ice cream to cool down I felt so good and I was ready for anything to come at me.

    As I woke up, I felt okay I didn’t have a great sleep which is very common for me. so now it was time for me to eat my left over food. A few hours later, it was time for me to start to scuba dive luckily when I started to scuba dive I found something very important which is money and tasty food which was very helpful . know my parents are here I could finally go home as my mummy picked me up but I told her that I found something special and I told her that it was lots of money and food and she was so very pleased.

    Reply
    • 19th June 2020 at 11:20 am
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      Well done Talal. Good use of fronted adverbials.

      Reply

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