Wednesday 13th May 2020 – Writing Task

Morning Year 4,
Today you are going to use your plan to write your first person narrative, a story as if you were the light. If you missed yesterday’s go back and watch the video.
Use the headings to write in paragraphs.

Features you need to include:

  • fronted adverbials to show the story is moving on. Remember to use a comma.
  • expanded noun phrases – really describe as the light what you see on your journey
  • first person – I, me, myself – remember you are the light telling the story.
  • exclamation, command, statement and questions in your story. Remember when using exclamation marks – you need to use What or How. For example: What a wonderful journey this is!
  • writing in past tense
  • writing in paragraphs
  • try to use a range of punctuation – ? ! , . ( ) ” ” …
  • short sentences using suffixes, for example: Excitement all around me.
  • longer sentences with more detail

Remember to use your plan and include as many features as you can.
We look forward to reading your stories as the light.
The Year 4 Team

22 thoughts on “Wednesday 13th May 2020 – Writing Task

  • 13th May 2020 at 9:10 am
    Permalink

    sorry i didnt do my planning because i was doing my pack and then im almost finnished

    Reply
    • 13th May 2020 at 2:05 pm
      Permalink

      You can complete plan on paper and then email photo to us! Glad the pack is keeping you busy

      Reply
  • 13th May 2020 at 9:27 am
    Permalink

    As the morning fell, I was a bright light that would travel’s to different landscapes in the world, I would go very fast to all the landscapes. When I zoomed to land skate to landscapes I felt like a lightning bolt as i was very fast. There are rocky mountains that are as dark as charcoal, going over white snowy mountains that look as beautiful as the horizon and the the icy lake you can play hokey on.

    As the day went on, I discovered many more places with my glowing light I saw every thing that was small, it was so amazing that I thought I was in heaven. I saw the smallest thing to the biggest it was amazing I saw the Atlantic. I even saw Africa, I want to be able to see every thing in the world by the end of the day the day can not get any better.

    As the sun sets, I reached the Caribbean and the weather is very hot i fell amazed with my self as I nirly have discovered the whole world my mood has changed to exited. As it goes into night time, i finish seeing all the places in the world i can see that by the look of the ocean the tied is coming in

    as it became realy dark, i just visorted one more place I wish to descover more places I wonder if I should continue.

    Reply
    • 13th May 2020 at 2:04 pm
      Permalink

      Beautifully written Brooke. Excellent story

      Reply
  • 13th May 2020 at 9:33 am
    Permalink

    As I woke, the adventure began… I felt annoyed, being left alone and kicked of your terrain. I wondered, “Why???” Sadly I needed to move on, but what could go wrong??? It was not my choice. Appuled. I felt lonley. I dragged myself to the airport. Anger filled me. I bought tickets to Tokyo…
    I had no-one!!! I got into boeing 737-800 and slept for around a minute as the engine roar woke me up right away. it turned out I needed TWO planes to get there. I saw beautifully shaped puff and the yellow sky were the highlights of my flight. I did not feel so bad getting kicked to see something for once in reality. It took a day and fourteen hours ad two planes!!! My plan was to travel the whole of the main island of the “Land of the Rising Sun” starting from Tokyo and it’s skyscrapers. Japan is small but rich. Technology and good food are the good things.I saw the red sun of Japan and I felt fear as I came onto the “Tokyo Skytree” (tallest tower in Tokyo) onto the last floor (the roof) and climbed the tower to the 29th floor on an elevator.
    I saw towers and towers then more towers. My plan failed but I saw something I could never see. before. Finally home!!!
    I wanted to go on more and more of these trips untill I reach the status of “World explorer” or travel the world. I felt amazed being at home. Finally…

    Reply
    • 13th May 2020 at 2:04 pm
      Permalink

      Impressive story as the light. Fantastic Franek

      Reply
  • 13th May 2020 at 10:15 am
    Permalink

    Suddenly, I began to wake up from my deep sleep. I began to glow and zoom around In the cold morning the sun began to come up .I felt like a ball of energy leaving a light behind me I wizzed around a steep snowy mountain .And there was a splashing water stream there was fish flouting and swimming around.There was a dead tree reflecting in the splashy stream

    Reply
  • 13th May 2020 at 10:16 am
    Permalink

    Suddenly, I began to wake up from my deep sleep. I began to glow and zoom around In the cold morning the sun began to come up .I felt like a ball of energy leaving a light behind me I wizzed around a steep snowy mountain .And there was a splashing water stream there was fish flouting and swimming around.There was a dead tree reflecting in the splashy stream

    Reply
  • 13th May 2020 at 10:18 am
    Permalink

    Suddenly, I began to wake up from my deep sleep. I began to glow and zoom around In the cold morning the sun began to come up .I felt like a ball of energy leaving a light behind me I wizzed around a steep snowy mountain .And there was a splashing water stream there was fish flouting and swimming around.There was a dead tree reflecting in the splashy stream

    Reply
    • 13th May 2020 at 2:03 pm
      Permalink

      Great start. Where are your paragraphs?

      Reply
  • 13th May 2020 at 10:23 am
    Permalink

    As the journey begins, I saw a world waiting for me.
    I felt naturally strong, as a bright star looking impressed to start my journey.
    As the day escapes and the night comes, thick clouds, snow filled mountains and beautiful lakes appeared, what a fascinating land this is.
    This land is now become an adventure to me. In this world, it had expressed me.
    A dark Midnight fades away. I’m bright as the good, I’m strong as the sun’s blaze and I am feeling imaginative what I can tell only yet. As the moon falls and mountains shine, infinity oceans expand with the rivers and the rockslides including the organisms. I would like to expand my command. I want the light to reach every corner of the universe. I am travelling above the lands and the shinning ocean. I am feeling amazed of this beautiful world. I am so delighted and feeling relaxed because I’ve seen and travelled different places. Dark betrays as light loose; the sun is setting. Evening glows as the moon climbs.
    The brightness and the conservation I would love to expand. Refreshment and Interaction, I would love to see. Delusion is what I want to hear. I would like to expand the glory. What I only know that that light is expanding and giving life. Difficult to find the end of Energy and universe infinity, I can expand my life. What can life do for our future of the planet? I wish that I will learn everything about the beautiful planet. The journey ends.

    Reply
    • 13th May 2020 at 2:02 pm
      Permalink

      Wow a beautifully written story as the light Hargun. IMpressive!

      Reply
  • 13th May 2020 at 10:33 am
    Permalink

    As my annoying alarm woke me up I went to go to work I’m a police officer I arrest people
    but, then after the priests for killing the president when they were inasnt it was a idle!?” (killed) the president after God told them who it was God and what he will do after god said to all the officers here is you criminal the priests are inasnt i arch angel sent the criminal to the police.

    Reply
    • 13th May 2020 at 2:02 pm
      Permalink

      Which activity is this Michael?

      Reply
  • 13th May 2020 at 12:40 pm
    Permalink

    As the moon was going down my alarm clock woke me up. I was excited because I got to see amazing people and other things. But when I got to the world people were having a fight. I saw a man killed the president. and I was scared. So I went to the forest and saw crystal river with emerald leaves. It was incredible. I went to go and see some more people and their was a party . I heard God calling me so I went to him and he said some people were having an argument. So then I shined bright like the sun and everybody stopped and looked at me. When I stopped shining everyone argued so then I shined again with all my strength. When I stopped everybody was happy. God was proud of me. I went to the forest again and there was a lot of animals like tigers, lions, elephants, monkeys, snakes, giraffes. They were all happy and I was happy too.

    Reply
    • 13th May 2020 at 1:58 pm
      Permalink

      Great story Regina thank you

      Reply
  • 13th May 2020 at 3:06 pm
    Permalink

    I am light, I feel like the suns energy is upon me.
    The sun set’s, so I decided to go on a adventure around the world I started by going of the the cold mountain and into the distance. The mountains looked like charcoal, the plains are so grassy and the sea’s are so icy that you could skate on them. What shall I see in this world of light maybe new boimes and oceans

    I’ve explored and saw new places I feel like my heart is racing out in this majestic world. The sun has started to rise, so I have been exploring all night I’ve only traveled half way around the world. Next I saw some waving oceans, super creative town’s and lush forests and jungles. I would love to explore the world forever!

    I’m now in my favorite place Africa I saw some cheetahs. I feel like god is upon me. As it started to get dark I completed my journey but it seem’s like the landscape is coming towards me in a weird position At dusk the tide was coming in and I’ve been all around the world yahoo.

    My task was complete the task was going all over the world. I wonder if I could live here forever I would love it.

    Reply
    • 13th May 2020 at 3:28 pm
      Permalink

      What a fantastic first person narrative Owen. Very powerful

      Reply
  • 13th May 2020 at 5:10 pm
    Permalink

    I woke up in a narrow distance in the universe. I saw a little piece of the planet Earth, which filled me with curiosity, so I started my exciting and joyful journey. I am the Light and am able to travel as quickly as a comet. I am feeling fresh and ready to start this adventure. So I set off like a rocket to to to the mysterious places. I suddenly hit the ground, I found myself on a mountain, then I went on a sharp right. I was quick as lightning.

    I feel impressed with the delightful views of the landscapes. Grass swaying like a grown fur coat. Trees are creating a forest just where I am. Then I move far away and see a massive desert, I feel really surprised by the eternity of these beautiful views. I was travelling above the lakes and rivers and decided to spend a bit more time observing these. I’ve noticed jelly fish moving different way than the fish. So I flashed above and I saw fish having fun and chasing the waves. I love the smell of the water, moist and fresh, so energising. The waves have a really nice sparkle and the sound is very calming.

    I am now going around rocky islands. I feel like an explorer, learning every second more and more about nature surrounding me. This emotion is overwhelming, the emptiness of noise is so satisfying. The rocks look sharp like dinosaurs’ teeth, a bit dark like coal. So many textures and shapes everywhere.

    As quick as a flash, I, as a beam of light striking through the midnight shadows creating little fire specks to give more light to the universe. Stars are shining like metal and I love the smell of the grass. Everywhere I look, every second I am amazed and discover something new, but it’s the end of the journey now, I need to explore new worlds tomorrow. Will they look the same, or will they bring a different experience? It is time to find out. I need to return now back to the Universe and prepare for a new adventure.

    Reply
    • 13th May 2020 at 5:49 pm
      Permalink

      Wow! Fantastic story Alex – I am impressed!

      Reply
  • 13th May 2020 at 6:45 pm
    Permalink

    Hello, my name is Timur and I am a little light.

    As I was flying throughout fluffy clouds with my mum and dad but somehow I got lost! I didn’t know what to do! I was shouting but, nobody answered. I shouted again, no answer. I was very surprised because how did my parents disappear in mid air! While I was flying I could see beautiful water, snowy mountains, white, dim sky. It was amazing! I was so surprised as I forgot that my parents were gone. I really want to see my family.

    I was born in Wales so that means I am flying over the beautiful sky of Wales. I am still scared because I cant find my family and I really love them. I really need them! When I was flying like a little angel I saw a big green field. I wanted to fly to the grass. And I did. When I got there, I saw a lot of these fluffy white animals with black heads. I noticed that they were sheep. When I got near a sheep. The sheep went ”Bahhhh” it got scared of me and ran away. But, one sheep came to me and sniffed me. It ran away and I was confused. ”why were they scared of me?”

    while I was flying to the mountains, I saw a bright light. It was my mum and dad! I was very happy.
    ” I hope I wont get lost again” I said quietly to my mum and dad.

    What do you think will happen next?
    To be continued…

    Reply
    • 13th May 2020 at 10:24 pm
      Permalink

      Wow love that you are the light Timur, great use of fronted adverbials. Try adding some suffixes in short sentences. For example: Excitement filled me!

      Reply

Leave a Reply to The Lings Primary Blogger Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *